The Truth Is Out There
by Kimberly-A
Summary: Dan finishes his 1/24/17 live show and tells Phil about Phangate. (Rating is for mention of sexy times, but no sexy times actually occur.)


**Author's Note:** While this fic is based on real life phandom drama and Dan's real life live show, I make no assumptions about DnP's actual real life relationship. That's their business, and I'm just having fun.

* * *

Dan closed his bedroom door and walked toward the kitchen, where he could hear Phil preparing dinner. He paused in the doorway, pleased to see that no part of Phil or the kitchen was actively aflame.

"Done with your live show?" Phil asked without looking up. He appeared to be making some sort of soup, staring into a large pot of something he was stirring with a wooden spoon.

"Yeah," Dan said in his best contrite voice, looking at the floor now and trying not to smile. "And I may have fucked up. I sort of ... told the truth ... I mean, about us."

Phil glanced up sharply and dropped his spoon into the pot of soup. "What?"

Dan glanced up hesitantly and nodded. "There were questions in the chat, and I may have ... admitted ... well ... that the whole flatmate thing is a sham."

Phil frowned and this time it was him looking down at the kitchen tiles. "Shouldn't we have talked about this before you just ... blurted it out like that?"

Dan slowly walked across the kitchen toward Phil, still trying to keep giggles from escaping, trying to look sorry. "Well, apparently something got out, and the fans were going crazy with all these questions in the chat, and I just couldn't keep the secret anymore." He wrapped his arms around Phil's waist and pulled him close, lowering his head to press a soft kiss to Phil's neck. "I'm so sorry," he whispered.

Phil sighed and wrapped his arms around Dan's waist, giving him a bit of a reassuring squeeze. "You said something had gotten out? What were they saying?"

"Oh, you know," Dan replied quietly. "They were asking about your secret wife and child, and I just couldn't keep the secret any longer."

Phil's head rose abruptly, nearly knocking Dan in the chin. "My what?" His eyes were wide, his mouth slightly open in surprise.

Dan nodded, trying to keep a straight face. "I don't know how they found out, but I just broke when they kept asking, and I told them all about how you don't even really live here, how you actually live with your wife Sabrina—or did I call her Serena, fuck I can't remember—and your child Lola." A smirk broke out on Dan's face. He couldn't control it anymore.

Phil shook his head in disbelief, a hand rising to cover his face. "My secret wife and child. Shit, you scared me for a minute there!"

Dan laughed, dropping all pretense now. "It was hilarious. You should have seen it."

"So they spend half their lives writing fanfiction about us, but also believe that I'm secretly married with a kid?" Phil looked baffled, dropping his hand to rest on Dan's hip.

Dan shrugged and pulled Phil close again. He hoped whatever was on the stove wasn't going to bubble over or burn. He kissed Phil's lips lightly and grinned. "Nobody said our audience was sane. That's why we love them."

"Jesus," Phil breathed. "Internet conspiracy theories!"

"Yeah," Dan smiled. "There's this other one about us being in a secret relationship for years." He leaned in and kissed Phil, a little more passionately this time, and Phil responded eagerly. After a long moment of this, Dan pulled back slightly to whisper against Phil's lips, "They say we have wild sex all the time." He pulled back further to look into Phil's face and raise an eyebrow suggestively.

Phil giggled. "Dinner's almost ready."

"But Phiiiiillllll," Dan whined. "How can we leave the conspiracy theorists so unsatisfied?"

Phil kissed him lightly and said with a mischievous smile, "After dinner we can satisfy them all you like. As many times as you like." He waggled his eyebrows comedically.

Dan rolled his eyes and gently pushed Phil away with a laugh. "Okay, fine, you spoon! And speaking of spoons, I think you dropped one into the soup."

Phil jumped, turning back to the hob with a gasp. "How am I going to get it out of there?"

"Well, don't just reach your hand in like an idiot. Use another spoon."

Phil laughed. "Oh, right." He got another long-handled spoon and began fishing around in the soup. After a moment, he chuckled quietly to himself.

"What?" Dan asked.

"My secret wife better be a better cook than me. I'm going to burn the flat down one of these days."

Dan pressed up against Phil's back and leaned down to kiss his neck again from behind. Phil sighed happily. "I'll be your secret wife," Dan joked. "And I'm a pretty good cook."

Phil turned around with the second spoon still in his hand, spattering soup on the tiles. Dan jumped away, shouting, "Oi!"

Phil ducked his head, laughing so that his tongue showed a little between his teeth. "You're the only secret wife I need." He held the spoon away from their bodies and leaned to kiss Dan again.

Dan returned the kiss, then leaned away to say, "That's good to hear, but you're the one who's going to clean the kitchen floor."

Phil rolled his eyes and grinned. "Fine. Maybe we can both be secret wives."

"I wonder where we can find a secret child named Lola."

"Maybe a shibe?" Phil suggested with a hopeful lilt in his voice, his eyes wide and innocent.

"Just finish the soup, you dork." And Phil did.


End file.
